Double Wind

Marie-Pierre writes:

Disbelief, anger, bargaining, despair: what will I do without “Downton Abbey”?  The second season was so outrageously short and satisfying.  I am at a complete loss.

Stan sent me an article suggesting lesser Edwardian TV drama – definitely not quite enough to bridge the gap all the way to next year.  Next Year!  Can you believe it?  To think that I and millions of others will have to slug through 12 romance-free months before we can find out if Lady Mary is truly going to wed Matthew Crawley; I can just feel my belly growing an anxious knot over this.  And what if the British producers won’t even film a third season?  I will never know what Sybil’s child looks like or if the mean third sister will marry her older beau.  Rats.

I was so distressed that when a friend texted me to say she was looking forward to seeing Lady Mary’s wedding dress, I lashed back with a comment about how the crash of 1929 was just about to round the corner and all the pretty people were going to have to get a job.  So ten-percent of me! I didn’t mean it.  Or if I did, it was only because I could see the dramatic potential of yet another disaster, especially after that last bout of Spanish flu conveniently trimmed a handful of superfluous cast members.

No, no, there is no point in speculating.  Wait we must, until next year or until one of my children calls or texts to inform me of the latest and juiciest TV series.  Till then, it’s Netflix and reruns.

Stan writes:

Last year we wrote about The Tudors and how utterly addicting that TV series had become.  This year the show that seems to be capturing everyone’s Sunday night is Downton Abbey.  The only difference is that somehow I did not get connected with the show this year.  MP started watching this in conjunction with her daughter Isabel and she was well into the series before I ever knew it.

So on Sunday nights, MP watches her Downton Abbey and is not to be disturbed.  That doesn’t stop the coyote in me about mid show.  I have found that MP is there for me always EXCEPT during Downton Abbey.  I get the sense the house could burn down and she would never know until the fire cut the TV show.

She has so much joy and Sundays are usually a great night for basketball this time of year so I can catch some good basketball while she is enthralled in the drama.  Being in Human Resources for most of her adult working life, she has no shortage of drama.  She deals with people and people do drama…plain and simple.  What is interesting is how sometimes she can’t stand drama and other times (like when Downton Abbey comes on) she is hooked.

So yesterday I sent Isabel and MP an article on “What to do now that Downton Abbey is finished.”  I didn’t read the article but you can be sure that pretty soon there will be another historical drama series, probably around English aristocrat life and maybe I will clip in this time……I have to admit it……dramas are addicting…….oh well, there are plenty of dramas in what I do, so truth or fiction…..the choices keep coming.

Marie-Pierre writes:

Part of my job is to keep track of the girl scout cookies.  Stan and Isabel both like the Caramel Delites, Isabel likes Lemonades and Shout Outs.  She will tolerate Thin Mints but Stan hates them. Everyone loves Tagalong.   If only I could find a box of Dulce de Leche, I’d make everyone happy but the jury is out on the Thanks-a-Lots.

My workplace officially forbids cookie sales but I am plugged in to the brisk, furtive underground trade in hidden cubicles.  We also order from Stan’s little niece of course – got to support the family.  In case of need, we know we can count on at least one door-to-door visit from a neighborhood kid and three or four more boxes (if not six to eight) from the table near the supermarket entrance. 

Stan and his brother can finish a box a piece in half a basketball game so we are bound to finance a fair chunk of our local troupe.  I haven’t had my first cookie of the season yet but I, too, will be going for a Caramel deLite.  Those little coconut flakes are simply too irresistible.

Let’s face it: the only way to make it through the cookie season is to eat the bloody things until we are sick of them.  Onward then, through the crumb trail, and all the way to Easter!

Stan writes:

Just like Christmas, Easter, and birthdays, there is an event that comes once a year …..Girl Scout Cookies.  It always seems to sneak up on me.  Some years I am ready for it and am guilt free in ordering, others I wish the temptation was not there…..although I ALWAYS enjoy the cookies.  They are definitely an institution.

When my girls were younger and were in girl scouts we would work the neighborhood, work, friends, and whomever we could to fill those sheets.  Neighbors would buy from us and we would buy from them.  Those were the days where it was not uncommon to have 10 boxes or so of Girl Scout Cookies.

Now that my girls have grown up, they have been replaced by friends or now my niece, Lauren, whose mother faithfully drives her over to get her annual order.  Because I don’t work in an office setting anymore, I can avoid the onslaught of mothers and fathers helping their daughters fill their sheets.  It seems that they are everywhere this time of year.  They even had a stand set up outside the local yogurt shop in the Heights.

This year was one of those years where I really didn’t need to be buying these cookies.  Although I always sure I will buy them to support my friends and family.  My favorite is Caramel Delights with the Chocolate Peanut Butter close behind.  The one that everyone loves and I can’t stand is thin mints.  When my kids were young and we had an abundance of girl scout cookies, the thin mints would hang around forever, a real testament to who REALLY ate the cookies at our house.

Now I work the cookies over pretty fast with the concept that if I eat them all real quick and get rid of them, they will not be around to temp me……great logic huh?  MP also now makes a annual goodie package for Isabel as she loves Girl Scout Cookies also.  In fact, this year I ate half of one of her boxes not knowing it was hers and had to get one to replace it……..don’t short the girl scout cookies.

What a great ritual……gotta support those Girl Scouts.

Stan writes:

There are definite perks in having a highly creative girlfriend on your birthday.  As we have gotten older, birthdays take on a different meaning.  I still have the message in my head that for birthdays and Christmas I have to knock it out of the park.  MP is showing me with a little creativity and love…..I don’t have to do that.

This year for my birthday I was first greeted by a birthday card in the refrigerator by two big beers that were made in or near MP’s home town in France.  These beers are really good.  Each one had a special note with a birthday affirmation on them.  Very cool and a nice way to start my birthday.  She had also made me a fresh juice and written a beautiful note inside the card. 

Then I went to my computer an d next to my shoes was a very cool Sole Spray for my shoes.  I know this is TMI but what the heck….it meant something to me.  It also had a wonderful affirmation card with it.  I was beginning to get the picture….I was on a birthday Treasure hunt.  So my curiosity got me looking around……nothing more….that was OK.

Then I went to my car and there was a beeswax chap stick attached to the steering wheel with yet another affirmation….that was really cool and when I went upstairs to take my shower, there was a jar of organic sugar face rub attached to the shower head with note and affirmation also.

 So I called MP and thanked her and she had me go through all the presents….she said  “there is one more”.  When I hung up I looked and looked and could not find it.  She told me it was a place I frequented regularly…..????  Holy Cow…the pantry …there it was a nicely bundled bunch of cookies, chocolates, and candy……and yes with another wonderful affirmation.  What a great birthday present.

I am one lucky man and the biggest present I got was that it is not the present…..it is the presentation…thanks MP.

Marie-Pierre writes:

Both Stan and my mom have early February birthdays, which poses the challenge of finding gifts just a few weeks after Christmas.  Some years, I just purchase extra Christmas gifts that I tuck away for a month.  This year, I relaxed and improvised.  None of my Christmas gifts to Stan had been real “winners” anyway.  Instead of trying to find the perfect gift, I browsed through several stores and bought small things that I thought migh please him: Belgian beer, good-smelling things, a book, some treats.
 
I was going to deliver everything into a big bag but as I was writing his birthday card, I noticed the large box of paper tags I had purchased at Office Max.  I use the tags as post-it notes for writing ideas: plain beige bristol tags with a cotton twine.  You can tie the tags to just about anything and they are large enough to write a full paragraph or to draw an image.  I ended up writing a series of love messages that I tied to the various gifts and voila: raw material for a birthday treasure hunt!
 
Early morning on Stan’s birthday (I couldn’t risk being found) I planted the gifts throughout the house, wish the birthday man a happy one, left for work and waited for the first phone call (beer in refrigerator), the second (book on his office chair), the third (essential oil in his shoes), and on and on… I really enjoyed hearing from him until about mid-day.
 
Not sure what I will be doing for Valentine’s day.  I still have five days to cook-up something.

Marie-Pierre writes:

Staying connected is the hardest part of a relationship, at least for me it is.  I am an introvert.  Too many people around, too much stress, too much change, too many problems send me burrowing deep into my cave, a thick-walled quiet mental space where I nap, read and hum – endlessly.  In the cave, silence is golden, solitude treasured.

Stan, on the other end, processes by talking and seeking companionship.  Well and fine as long I am not hibernating under a quilt somewhere.

Our connection to each other ebbs and flows depending on what’s going on in our lives and who comes through the house.  These last two months were tough with the holidays, the wedding and several job projects.  We finally got to breathe this past weekend and have a little time to ourselves.  We got to talk and that was good.

No matter what happens or how busy we get, our commitment has always been that we would find each other.  And we do.  I am very grateful for that.

Stan writes:

When I was younger I thought it was my goal in any relationship to avoid conflict at all cost.  I was a master “nice guy” and a fight in a relationship to me was a sign that things were not good.  I have found out in life that that statement does not serve me well.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a proponent for relationships to have lots of fights, I am a proponent to realize that conflict is natural and needed.  If we all agreed on everything, we would be a bunch of programmed robots all pointing in the same direction.  That is not what I see life is about.

What I have realized in my relationship with MP is that conflict is necessary to growth.  There is no way in my opinion two people can get together and not have conflict AND have a healthy relationship.  What is important is how we can work through conflict and stay connected.

MP and I have the great gift to find each other after conflict.  Conflict or storming is never pretty and is sure to hit on at least a few of our issues.  That is a time I work on breathing and not shutting down.  It is after the conflict that we get re connected.  We have also learned that while in the conflict it is important not to wound the other person, yet stay on “our side of the street” and express what is triggering us and what is happening with us.

There seems to be a lot of change going on now and this has served us both well because we can grow and thrive through these changes versus hanging on for dear life, hiding, or running.  I am really understanding a lesson now that was once shared with me that says “our deepest work is done in relationships”. …..amen brother.

Stan writes:

MP and I bought an older home that has some unique characteristics to it.  It has been an incredible home and on our journey to make it even better we uncovered one of the areas that needed some attention.  MP loves her hot baths and to get those we needed enough hot water to fill the tub.  We were not sure if it was a faucet resetting or turn the hot water up on the hot water heater or what.

Last week we undertook the journey to increase the amount of hot water in our house.  We had our handy man contractor come and take a look and he said it was simple, you need a new water heater.  Turns out the older one we had did not have very much capacity and coupled with the fact that our bath is on the other side of the house as the water heater, we weren’t getting enough hot water.

Being a handy man is not my strong suit and I have reached a point in life, if I don’t want to fix it myself, I get help.  We had received some quotes from a plumber we used in the past and it was astronomical.  Enter the handyman, he is reasonable, on time, and goes great work. His name is Scott and he helped us get our new water heater installed and running properly.  Scott also has enough sense to know what he knows and get help when he needs it.  He had a licensed plumber come and look at his work and we paid a nominal fee just for insurance….everything checked out great.  We even got a new faucet for the sink that did not have a functioning hot water side.

Did I tell you I procrastinate home projects, like living without hot water in our kitchen for a year…..that’s another story.  I can proudly say now we have hot water in our kitchen and enough hot water for MP to take her hot baths with hot water left over.

MP is happy, I am happy and I still have a list of project that will get done when we just can’t live with it any more…….next call to the handyman may be sooner than later, just discovered a leak in our living room from under the wall…..thanks Scott.

Marie-Pierre writes:

Call me a “petite bourgeoise” but given any chance of living accomodations, I will always choose whatever guarantees hot water, the more the better.  Few things make me happier than spending hours reading in a near-scalding hot bath.  Showers are never hot enough for me and I pride myself (why or why?) in never needed gloves to wash the dishes in extra-hot water.
So I was distressed when I found out that the house hardly produced any hot water at all.  Certainly not enough to fill the tub.  Stan said the heater must be old and rusty but I attributed the lack of water to the -surely misplaces – water conservationist views of the previous owners.  I deeply appreciated the three compost piles in the garden, the well-designed garden and the rooms that didn’t need air-conditioning, but what were they thinking to have put faucets that didn’t allow hot water to be turned on full blast? 
Stan said the faucets were designed that way, but I spotted signs of cold-water extremism.  Take the shower for example: it has a skylight that opens so we can shower during rainstorms.  Cold rain showers?  Obviously the previous owners had never met my grandmother.
Something had to be done.
The New Year has brought a spanking new water heater and faucets that work.  I came back to work a bit early last Friday to see Stan and the plumbing crew putting the finished touches on the installation.  “Watch out,” the plumber said “that water is very hot.  It’ll burn you”. 
No problem.

Stan writes:

Well it is that time of year again except this year it lasted a couple weeks longer…….what am I talking about….football season.  Since the Texans have been a team, they have emptied out their lockers the last week of the season and watched as the playoffs rolled on without them.  Not this year…the Texans made the playoffs.

I have been watching football on and off for many years, some years more active than others.  For whatever reason, this year was one of those years where I watched the Texans almost every week.  I really enjoyed our season because we fielded a really good team this year.  It was fun and exciting and I had a lot of fun.

Sunday afternoons when the Texans were on, I got pretty worked up and excited.  MP would go do her thing and I would watch the game.  On a few occasions I would have Robert or John over but most of the time I would watch it alone. MP could never quite understand what all the yelling and moaning and screaming was all about.  I think she thought I had lost part of my mind.

Well, some things changed this weekend when we were in our playoff game and the game only had a couple of minutes to go and the Texans were making their final push to win the game.  MP was walking through, sat down with Robert and me, and all of a sudden she was cheering the Texans on.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, MP was enjoying football , maybe just for the moment, but she was having fun. 

Make no mistake, I have no illusions that MP will be my side next season as the Texans kick off, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she dropped in a little bit more next year to see what all the commotion is about…..might just have to surprise her next year with her own Texans jersey.

Marie-Pierre writes:

Too bad the Texans lost this last round.  I was really starting to get into the game.  Not as much as Stan of course.  He is a pro.  He gets anxious before big games, perches himself on the edge of the couch and yells at the players and coaches. In fact, he is a coach.  Should Gary Kubiak run out of strategies, Stan’s got the alternate playbook.

Me, I pop in and out to check the score, and once in a while I’ll sit down and follow the game for a fifteen minute stretch.  No matter those NFL marketers that claim women to be the fastest-growing segment of the fan base: I do not own a Texans jersey and don’t plan to.  Not yet.

Seven years ago is when I started to learn about football.  Emilio was playing on his high school team then, and even though football meant a lot of driving around and waiting for the team buses to return from who-knows-where, I did make an effort to educate myself about the basics and did find out that I enjoyed the game.

Professional football is a lot more dramatic than high school or college games.  Last Sunday was exciting at times and I did get to make long use of my three bits of knowledge, but no heartbreak for me either.  I am still a Texans beginner. 

Marie-Pierre writes:

I am so excited about the new Yoga studio that opened in our neighborhood.

The “Yoga Collective” is being run by two young women who offer at least two classes every night.  I went three times the first week the studio opened, and slept like a baby every night.

Back in the mid 80’s, I took my first yoga lesson from a visiting professor at my business school.  She was English and taught half a dozen of us how to do sun salutations in a small space between the desks of a regular classroom.  Instead of mats, we used coarse wool blankets that she had bought at a farmer’s supply store.

A few years later, I took lunch-time yoga classes at the Rice University gym.  The instructor wore a turban and did strange things with his stomach muscles.  A few more years, and I moved on to hot yoga in a steamy room in an office building near Montrose.  By the time I showed up at Joy Yoga on Washington Street, everybody carried mats, wore flared yoga pants and performed semi-aerobic vinyasa routines to the sound of ipod playlists.

Stan and I have been attending Robert Boustany’s studio twice a week for over a year.  We love his systematic approach and his great sense of humor.  I think my posture has improved; I am getting closer to being able to do a shoulder stand.  With the new studio nearby, I will have a chance to practice Yoga five days a week.

Lat night, the teacher placed little lavender pillows on our eyes during meditation.  I am going back.  Definitely.

Stan writes:

There is one thing that is very important to MP and that is in the evenings she needs something to unwind her from her work so she can rest peacefully at night.  When the weather permits and it stays light outside, she usually goes to the park and gets a lap in…..and that works great.  With the winter months on us and with short days, it gets dark early and walking in the park is not as relaxing to her…..so she looked for an alternative.

She had been going to a couple of yoga classes but had not found one yet that relaxed her the way she wanted.  That all ended last week when she found that a new yoga studio was opening up in the shopping center at the end of our street.  She decided to give it a try.  Some things in life are homeruns and this was one of them.

She hit it off with the instructor and found they had a couple of classes with the right combo……low or no music and lots of space between poses to breath and wind down.  Turns out this was just perfect for her.

What does this have to do with me?  Well if you have been in a relationship with anyone lately, it sure is a lot nicer when they are relaxed and can leave work at work.  She is so happy and that makes for such a wonderful evening.  There was even an added bonus in that her son Emilio and his girlfriend, Emily, both went with her the other night to one of these evening yoga classes.  I think MP was a little nervous that they would not like it but they did and it was wonderful.

Turns out they are coming back this Thursday night for another class and some time with MP.  Who knows, I might have to check this out….even though I am a morning workout person, this could be too good to pass up.

Marie-Pierre writes:

Too busy to be writing this blog.  Got to play with my new i-phone.  Got to “facetime” my son who happens to be returning my call now that we both have the cool new technology to talk “face to face”, and text, exchange pictures, songs, videos, ringtones and all kinds of necessary apps that I didn’t even know were necessary four days ago.

Oh but I’m so there!  I’ve already “pimped my screen” and I am answering to an 18^th century French minuet.  I am also waking up to the sound of foghorns, a nod to my childhood by the North Sea.  Apparently, there is no ringtone mimicking the startling sound of the large chunks of steel that the USINOR steel mill would drop around 4:00 a.m. every day, but I bet you I can find a way to have the i-phone emit the same red glow that lit up the sky.  Or I could just download the app that will make me believe I grew up in small chateau in the woods.

I haven’t been able to download Stan’s ringtone yet.  For five or six years, I have been answering his love calls to the sound of Cold Play’s “Clocks”, but doing so in the i-phone requires a specialized ringtone-making app that I haven’t been able to figure out.  In any case, I have been so busy playing Scrabble with total strangers, I hardly have time to answer Stan’s call.  .

I also have to check the entire classics library.  The extra small font will be the death of my retina but how can I resist re-reading The Scarlet Letter during business meetings? 

Got to go.  I have a message, three updates and a picture coming my way.

Stan writes:

Our new year started out with MP buying herself, Emilio and Isabel all new I phones as their contract was up for renewal and she got great deals.  This was the second coming of Christmas.  I don’t think I have ever seen Emilio quite this excited.

Come to find out Emilio and his girlfriend, Emily, both now have I phones.  Emily was excited because she could now purge all the sports apps Emilio had downloaded on her phone.  He was also excited because he got  a free trial of the NBA channel where he can watch all the NBA games he wants to on his phone until January 8^th.  Emily was also excited because they can now play UNO over the internet.

In the background was MP who was quietly enjoying her new phone.  She is still figuring it out and getting all her ringtones, emails, and contacts in.  We have an ongoing discussion about her alarms as she has the same old song that has been playing at 5:30 am every Tuesday through Friday and I was taking this opportunity to ask for change.  “How about a Neil Young song?”   She was not willing to change until Emily helped her find a Foghorn, like a ship horn, that she grew up hearing in Dunkirk, France.  You can only imagine how much joy I had then……. a foghorn…are you serious?  Well, it worked out OK because this morning it turns out the foghorn is a lot quieter than the song and I actually slept through it this morning, something I have not achieved with her old phone and song.

I am a gear dude, so I am glad we are all coming into the I phone/Droid technology and we all have “smart” phones.  Once MP gets her photo to Facebook process down, I imagine another change will be that we will all have photos shared a lot more regularly.  And now that MP’s lifelong dream of getting “friended” by her son Emilio on Facebook has been realized and they BOTH have I phones, we could see some interesting stuff.

All is good now and technology has finally moved through our house.  MP has an appointment with Apple this week to get all her I phone, I pad and PC talking to each other.  She is on a role and before you know it we will all be sharing using Facetime and who knows what will be next……..Bluetooth in her car…… it’s just around the corner.

Marie-Pierre writes:

I have become a juicing Goddess.  It all started a couple of months ago when I followed my physician’s advice to go on a detox diet.  No fats or carbs for ten days.  I took out the juicer from Stan’s previous life and experimented with various concoctions that could sustain me through a day of work.   The fresh vegetable juices were so delicious that once the ten days were over, I decided to permanently replace my traditional French breakfast of bread, jam and butter for a daily green smoothie.

How did I become so New-Age American?

Since it doesn’t take that much more time to juice for two, Stan followed.  And when I juice for two, I might as well juice for three, or four, or even five so our children got green smoothies when they visited.  They were good sports about it, swallowed their nutrient-packed extra-large glass of green goo without any nostalgic reference to past blueberry muffins.  Didn’t even once clamor for pancakes.  It helps that green smoothies seem to be particularly helpful with hangovers (or perhaps this is an illusion fueled by the fact that our children don’t argue much after a night out).

After 60 days of intense usage, the old Jack Lalanne juicer is showing signs of imminent death.  We went online yesterday to order a Breville 800JEXL Juice Fountain Elite 1000-Watt Juice Extractor.  According to the reviews, this little monster is capable of extracting water from a rock.  I can’t wait to put it to the test.

As we near 2012 however, I must ponder the existential implications of such enthusiasm.  More precisely, how do I dare to abandon my cultural heritage of pure butter and Madrange hams for this vegan juice-happy identity? If my grandmother were still alive, would she be able to set aside her pure horror to love what I have become?  Is it humanely possible (or advisable) to bake a soy-butter croissant?

Some questions are better left unanswered.  Cheers!

Stan writes:

My friend Jimmy has been on me for years to juice more.  What is juicing?  It is not making fresh squeezed orange juice….it is a machine that will extract the juice out of any vegetable or fruit.  There are tons of different combinations you can use and each one is done so you can get all the nutrients out of the vegetable or fruit, and it will make you healthier.

Jack La Lane, who I grew up with watching do exercises on the TV every day, many years ago decided to put his name on a juicer and endorse it.  It is an amazing way to get a lot of nutrients condensed down to one drink.  The down side is that it takes a lot of vegetables to juice and it makes a mess to clean up, so the process is not as easy as grabbing a protein bar and heading out.

It was the all the work that kept me from it more.  Everytime I would go stay with Jimmy, we would juice and it would always feel good.  Enter MP, my inspiration and my health guide.  She decided to start juicing about a month or so ago and has juice ALMOST EVERY SINGLE DAY.  That is focus and determination.  It has gone long enough now that it is not a fad, it is a habit, and I am the beneficiary.

We have now moved on to a different level.  We have used the Jack La Lane juicer so much that the blade is dulling and certain parts broke.  It became apparent that the Jack La Lane model is for part time juicers, not full time juicers like MP………so we had to find the professional model……and we did.

So tomorrow or the next day we will be receiving a newer, bigger, faster and hardier juicer.  It brags about how much juice it can make in a short period of time……this will make MPs life easier.  So we are spreading the wealth and all my kids and hers have now had her juice and hopefully this will be a habit we will do for a long time.  I am the grocery run guy who keeps the frig full of veggies to juice, and she juices…..move over Jack La Lane…….. new kids are in town.

Marie-Pierre writes:

With only three days left before Christmas, we are finalizing our preparations for the annual celebrations.  The gifts have been purchased and wrapped, the guests invited,  the menus planned, all of it with much less anxiety than last year.  We have, after all, a full year of experience blending families.

We did hit a couple a snags along the way. It’s not easy to sort out what constitutes a family tradition from what is merely optional.  Stan, Kelsey and Madison tend to think of Christmas as an intimate family gathering centered on having breakfast and opening gifts on Christmas morning.    Isabel, Emilio and I like big Christmas eve parties with lots of friends.  I am attached to the tradition of finishing dinner just before heading out to midnight mass.  None of us care for what we eat for breakfast on Christmas morning although we do open our gifts at that time. 

For years, Stan had been passing out the gifts for his family, a role he had to share with Emilio last year.  It all went well but never before had I paused to notice that Emilio had been playing that role for our own family for years.   Or that, deep down, I still yearn for the breakfast of champagne and foie gras that my brother and I used to share in my parents’ kitchen (Stan and his daughters have to have eggs benedict).

Apart from Stan and Emilio co-distributing gifts, I can’t say that we have fully developed traditions on our own yet.  In fact, Madison and her new husband will hardly have time to be with us.  And since our other three children are in the midst of figuring out their adult lives, future Christmases will likely require a fair amount of flexibility and much more talk about traditions and how to let go of them. 

This Christmas eve will be tapas and cocktails with family and friends.  Perhaps we will buy a “buche de Noel” for dessert or perhaps we’ll have whoopee pies. Who cares?  We are happy.

Stan writes:

We are finding out that traditions in our new blended family have a major impact on how we live our lives and are especially prevalent at the holidays.  With Christmas coming we have really had some interesting discussions about what Christmas should look like.

What I find amazing is how I can continue to think that because Christmas was a certain way for me, it was probably like that for everyone else…..wrong.  For the past 3 or 4 years we have has MP’s parents come to Houston for Christmas.  Up until last year we were able to sidestep most of our differences because I had my house and MP had hers.  We actually spent a lot of time around Christmas, but on Christmas day or eve, we would go our separate ways, celebrate with our children/parents and then reconvene later on Christmas Day to have our own celebration.

This worked well and gave a lot of room for our differences.  Last year when MPs parents came we were in our new house and we had our first combined Christmas.  In hindsight, it went very well.  I worked through some of my fears and so did MP.  Interestingly enough, all of our fears have to do with either MP or I making sure that our kids were happy.  We obviously both are divorced and are super sensitive to make sure that our kids ALWAYS have a merry Christmas ripe with the rituals that each of us grew up with.

Last year we combined the rituals and this year MPs parents aren’t coming and so we have a new set of rituals because now we are not just catering to her parent’s needs and we are still wanting to make sure our kids have a great Christmas.  Well our kids are now adults (even though I keep calling them kids) and we are all pitching in for a new and unique Christmas that will have a little of all the rituals there. 

I am excited and nervous and I am looking forward to this years celebration.  One thing that I always do and probably will forever is I leave some cookies for Santa Claus as somehow the plate is always empty (with crumbs of course) when I wake up in the morning.  I guess there is a little Santa in all of us……Merry Christmas.